Natural and Unnatural Relationships Between Men and Women
I’m not sure what inspired the title of this post, but now that I’ve re-read it, I think it sounds like I’m going to write about whether or not homesexual relationships are natural or unnatural. If that’s what you’re looking for from this post, you’ll be disappointed.
Instead, I thought it would be interesting to write about natural ways that relationships between men and women start, progress, and end. And I thought it would be interesting to contrast those natural relationship progressions with unnatural relationships.
What is a natural relationship? What is an unnatural relationship?
“Natural” versus “unnatural” is a distinction that’s more personal than anything else. For me, relationships occur “naturally” when you meet someone via circumstance. Relationships used to happen this way all the time, rather than being more “forced” and “unnatural”. Meeting someone via an Internet dating site, for example, seems like an unnatural start to a relationship. But meeting someone you like while sitting at a bar would seem more natural. In the past, there were lots of ways to meet people naturally:
- You could meet people at parties.
- You could meet people while doing volunteer work.
- You could meet people at the office.
- You could meet people via introductions from family members.
And so on.
I’m not making a value judgment about which approach is better. But here are some unnatural ways to begin a relationship:
- You could meet people via online personal ads.
- You could meet people via blind dates.
- You could meet people via matchmaking services.
- You could meet people via chatrooms/forums, etc.
Here are some questions about these different means of meeting people:
- Do you behave differently in the beginning, middle, or end of a relationship if you meet them via one of the natural ways above than if you meet them via one of the unnatural ways above?
- What elements do the relationships that begin naturally share with relationships that begin unnaturally?
- What elements do the relationships that begin naturally differ from relationships that begin unnaturally?
- Is a natural relationship better than an unnatural relationship? In what ways is it better?
- Is an unnatural relationship better than a natural relationship? In what ways is it better?
I can see how it would be easier to end an unnatural relationship than a natural relationship. Is that a good thing or a bad thing?
An element that the natural relationships above share is that they involve social networks, real social networks, like family and friends. This social network provides a safety net and comfort level that might be absent in a relationship that starts in an unnatural way. For example, if I’m going out on a date with a woman who works with my elderly aunt, I’m liable to be more respectful of her feelings than I would be if I met that woman via an online personal ad. That might or might not be a good thing though. I know a guy whose girlfriend became friends with a lot of his family, and it made their eventual breakup harder than it would have been otherwise.
Maybe the words “natural” and “unnatural” are the wrong words to describe these kinds of relationships, but the subject makes for a nice conversation starter.
This entry was posted on Tuesday, July 28th, 2009 at 8:29 am and is filed under Relationships. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.
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