Relationship Questions Blog

How to Marry Your Best Friend

If you find yourself caught in the friend zone and are looking for tips on how to marry your best friend, you’ve come to the right place. We’ve all been there — “the friend zone” — the limbo between strong friendship and romance. It may seem strange to some to consider marrying a close friend, but who better to commit your life to than a person you already trust and feel comfortable with? Many of us have that person in our lives, that best friend, who we’d like to confess our love for, and (eventually) spend our life with. Here’s how you go about it.

1. Find out how your friend feels about you. This is your “starting point”. There are many ways to go about discovering if your best friend may be open to a romantic relationship with you. My favorite three –

  • Using your senses — Does your friend give off signs or signals that there may be romantic interest? If you don’t know what I’m talking about, think back to the way you acted when you were attracted to someone. Holding eye contact for longer than is “normal”, or smiling really big when you see someone, or going out of your way to make physical contact are all signs that there is romantic interest. If your best friend has been flirting with you, and you just now realized it, then you’re WELL out of the woods. If you can’t remember if your friend has displayed flirtatious behavior, start watching. Be on the lookout for eye contact, flirtatious laughter, or a desire to spend a large amount of time with you.
  • Using your friends — If the two of you have any friends in common, preferably close friends, you can go to them for guidance. This third friend (the inevitable ‘third wheel’ of any friendship) probably has insight that you yourself have overlooked. If you’re comfortable with the idea, ask this friend if there’s any sparks between you and your BFF. At very least, this friend can give you their opinion and guide you on your next step toward marrying your best friend. At most, your friend could say “OF COURSE he/she likes you . . . I’ve been hoping you guys would get together for years!” or something along those lines. If you can’t use your senses to determine if there’s flirting going on, going to a close friend for guidance is the best idea.
  • Using your mouth — Your last shot at marriage to your best friend could be a direct question. If you’re bold enough, or if you and your friend are close enough for this kind of talk, you can ask your best friend outright if there’s any romantic possibilities between the two of you. It is best to come out with the question, face to face, making eye contact. Warning — you may make your friend uncomfortable, you may start a fight, and you could even ruin the friendship the two of you already have. It is best to use your own senses or ask a common friend before you jump to this step. Then again, asking the right question at the right time may be the key to your future successful best-friend marriage.

2. If you’ve gotten this far, you’re well on your way to marrying your best friend. The transition between a close friendship and the start of a relationship is not difficult — close friends are very much like dating partners without the physical relationship. Remember that the same kind of honesty and communication necessary to your close friendship is vitally necessary to your new romantic relationship, especially if you are going after the commitment of marriage. Step two is to maintain your friendship (honesty, trust, communication) while upping the physical nature of your relationship. If you need help in the sexual department, there’s plenty of literature to be had that will teach you how to successfully “put the moves” on someone — but the basic tenets are

  • Establish trust. You’ve already done this by creating a friendship bond.
  • Determine desire. Figure out what your best friend wants in terms of physical activity. Does it seem like the right time for a kiss on the lips, or is your friend looking for a roll in the hay? Watch their body language.
  • Go for it. You can’t know if your relationship is going to be physical unless you dive in and try to get physical. The worst thing that can happen is you can hear a “no”.

3. Determine your friend’s attitude about marriage. Once you’ve started a physical relationship with your best friend, continue to talk and gauge this friend’s attitude toward marriage, including how soon or how late they want the marriage to happen. If you REALLY want to marry this person, you’ll pretty much have to agree with whatever they say. If your best friend isn’t interested in marriage any time soon, agree, and stick with it for the long haul. If they’re marriage-ready, it may soon be time to pop the question.

Some final reminders about any relationships. Take your time and use a person’s body language to gauge their reaction and their interest in you and what you have to say. Never force or push anyone in any direction, physically or mentally. And finally, keep your friendship close. You were best friends before, and just because you’re planning to get married now doesn’t mean you should be any less close. If you keep your friendship solid (loyal and loving) the rest is just details.

This entry was posted on Monday, October 26th, 2009 at 11:19 am and is filed under Relationships, Romance. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.

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