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How to Flirt with a Cougar
Learning how to flirt with a cougar means turning your back on your old seduction methods. Cougars are older, wiser, and (believe it or not) more sexually charged than their younger counterparts — plus they’ve usually got that “older woman” money to spend on a young attractive guy such as yourself. If you want to go cougar hunting, you’ve got to have the right tools and a proper guide. Consider this your cougar safari guide.
As for the “proper tools”, let’s try an understand what a “cougar” is, and what they’re looking for. A cougar, by popular definition, is an attractive woman aged 40 or older who goes after younger men. Why would an older woman pursue a (usually much) younger man? The answer is sex — cougars see younger men in their sexual prime and want to experience the kind of powerful sex that only an older woman and a younger man can have. They also consider every “young hot guy” they bed to be another “notch on the bedpost” . . . if they can bag a younger guy, then they must still be sexually attractive.
This means the only “tools” you need to bag a cougar are your youth, your virility, and your bedroom prowess. Got all those together? Great. Now let’s move on to the hunt itself.
- To catch a cougar, you have to go where they hang out. That’s right — if you want to bed an attractive older woman, you may have to step outside of your local watering hole comfort zone. Cougars hang out in a different range of places than your average young woman. Look for cougars at art galleries, open mic nights, coffee shops, ethnic restaurants, and (the ultimate cougar hunting grounds) wine bars.
- Going to places where cougars hang out means dressing up. Most self-respecting cougars (no snickering) wouldn’t be caught dead anywhere you can wear your Ed Hardy T-shirt and skinny hipster jeans. Get yourself a few nice Oxford shirts, some fancy slacks, and maybe even a tie or two. Dress according to your particular cougar hunting location — wine bars are the best place to hunt, and are (thankfully) some of the more forgiving in terms of your clothing. “Business casual” is where its at. Dress up, run a comb through your hair, shave that stupid goatee off your face and hit the wine bar.
- When you enter the cougar’s lair, scan the room. Notice the number of “older women” (we’re talking near or over 40) sitting by themselves or in small “cougar packs”. Find your first “target”. Got her in your sights? Time for step four.
- Make your initial attack. Cougars thrive on confidence . . . after all, it is your cocky youthful nature they’re after. Don’t approach them the way a 40 year old man would (with respect and self deprecation) — instead, consider dropping a cheesy line or a direct compliment. Ask your cougar of choice if you can join her. Make eye contact. Let her know with your expression and tone of voice that you’re down for anything.
- If you’re at the wine bar . . . buy her a glass of her choice. Even better? Buy a half bottle (375 mL) of sparkling wine or Champagne and pour her a glass. Yes, you may have to spend a bit of coin at first to lure the cougar, but if you pull these first few steps off, you won’t be paying for much else.
- Once the drinks are delivered, compliment the cougar. Tell her she’s got a great body, that her legs look incredibly sexy, or that you want to run your hands through her hair. Trust me — a direct approach to a cougar is the only safe approach. If you try to stare down a cougar with fear in your heart, she will know. Cougars can smell, taste, and touch fear.
- Direct flirting and overt sexual banter is the name of the game. Make physical contact with the cougar as soon as possible. Touch her hand, look directly in her eyes, and say the boldest thing on your mind. Trust me — even if you fumble at this step and say something off color or offensive — the cougar will respond to your youth and “lack of experience”.
- As quickly as possible, allow the cougar to begin buying drinks. She’s got the fat bank account, you’ve got the empty bedroom and the lack of need for Viagra. A match made in heaven.
- Getting the cougar out of the wine bar and into your car is easier than it sounds. If you’ve got the cougar’s attention and she’s buying drinks, you can pretty much assume you’re going to get laid tonight.
Flirting with a cougar is a hundred times easier than flirting with a younger woman. Cougars don’t want games, they want action. Remember that cougars are in it for the personal gratification that young guys still find them attractive. The only thing you’ve got to have is the proper tools and the right attitude. Happy hunting.
This entry was posted
on Thursday, October 29th, 2009 at 8:43 am and is filed under Flirting.
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